the perfect man

Anyone who knows me knows I love myself.
I am pretty.
I am smart. 
I am good.
And once I met a man who was just like me.

I walked into church broken. 
He stood there smiling.
And I was smitten. 

Months went by before we spoke. 
It took all my courage. 
You knew my name. 
I was in love. 

We sat together all through church.
We talked all day. 
We drove and talked.
We ate fruit and talked. 
Why was there a box of fruit in your car?

You left for school the very next week. 
But we talked every day. 
We facetimed while my sister listened through the door. 
Her and I dreamed of you. 
To me you were perfect.

I knew your flaws.
But we always agreed.
You said what I was thinking. 
And I loved hearing it come out of your mouth. 

I went to visit you.
It wasn't for you.
It was all for me. 
We spent the perfect day.
I ditched my friends for you.
M&S I'm still sorry about that by the way. 

My dad picked me up from your house the next day. 
I watched as he sized you up. 
I wanted to die of embarrassment.
We drove away.
But still, we talked.

You came home for thanksgiving. 
We hiked together.
I told you I liked you.
You told me you didn't like me.
I drove us home.

I wanted to cry.
You came in my house.
With a broken heart, I let you in. 
And you dried your socks on my fireplace. 
You took a nap on my couch.
I don't remember why, 
But what the hell dude. 

At Christmas, you came back.
Our friend group went to the city.
I looked at you with hope.
And you told me of the women in your life.
Why did I keep trying?

I still dreamed of you. 
I wanted you to change your mind.
You called and told me you were proposing. 
That was the last time we spoke. 
I am such an ass. 

You invited me to your wedding.
So I left the country. 
Your wife friended me on Facebook. 
And I let her. 
After a year of it waiting in my requests.

Looking back you were right. 
I was you and you were me.
And we wouldn't have worked. 
The life you live is not the one I want.
And we always agreed. 

I'm happy you have someone who fights you.
And I'm hoping I find someone to fight for me.
Goodbye, my perfect man. 
Four years since I met you and I'm glad. 
Don't dry your socks on other people's fireplaces though.

Sincerely, 

your twin bi